Role as a Parent

As parents it’s our responsibility to teach, guide and encourage our kids. If we do our job right they go on to become responsible contributing members of society.  Teaching practical life skills and philosophies are important parts of developing our children into well rounded and happy adults.  

Many parents say they only want the best for their kids. My parenting goal, by contrast, is “only the second-best” for my children.

In many instances, my husband and I have not chosen the “best” option or the most expensive choice for our children – child care, schools, clothes, toys.  Often the top choice — by reputation, review or other metrics — is too pricey, too far away or too inconvenient for us.  By contrast, the second-best option may not be the very “best” by outside standards, but it’s the option that works best for us as parents or our family as a whole.

To be sure, there are some areas where the most expensive does equal the best and where you do get what you pay for.  Food is a good example: cheap processed vs. pricier organic. To offset the cost, we have a home garden that both boys help us in.  They get to learn about growing things and the responsibilities of taking care of it.  They then get to reap the rewards when they get to harvest some fresh corn or tomatoes.

We surround our kids with a good marriage, low on conflict and stress. We are busy with family, school, homework and chores, but I think we set a great example to our boys.  We may not be the very best at everything, but we are the best for our boys.

As parents, we are striving to teach our boys these things before they leave home.

Practical life skills we will teach our boys:

…that doing proper grocery shopping, including meal planning, shopping with a list and comparing prices, can save them a considerable amount of time and money.

…there is more to cooking and baking than simply opening a can or reheating a meal.

…that no matter what the fashion is at the time, when it comes to school, work or special occasions — dress appropriately so you don’t send a message of laziness.

…how to grow and care for a plant. This is a relatively easy and inexpensive way to instill responsibility.

…how to change a car tire so that when they get a flat they are less likely to be stranded on the side of the road not knowing what to do.

…to drive responsibly and to be acutely aware of the consequences of drinking and driving, even if they are the passenger.

…that they can save money on books if they frequent the library.

…how to do standard maintenance on their cars  and around the house.

…that they can have a lot more fun if they build things from scratch.

…how to tie a variety of knots so whether they are tying up a boat or pulling a car out of a ditch they are better armed.

…how to barbecue a perfect meal paying particular attention to pre-grill prep and special recipes.

…the importance of reading food labels. Not only to become aware of individual ingredients but to also know the quantities of sugar, additives and types of fats they contain.

…how to hem pants, sew on buttons and patch worn knees.

…how to type properly with both hands on the keyboard. In a society where computers are used for nearly everything, learning how to type properly will increase their efficiency and productivity.

…how to create an effective budget that allows them to live within their means and continually reduce their debt.  We involve them in our budgeting and goal of being debt free in now 33 months.

…how to read a map and use a compass.

…how to swim and tread water, as this can save lives.

Philosophical life lessons we are teaching our boys:

…that they can be happy if they choose to be happy.

…that a smile is the simplest thing you can do to truly brighten the day of someone else.

…about compassion and how they can go beyond empathy by truly understanding and feeling other people’s pain and suffering.

…that there is no such thing as being too polite. You can never say please, thank-you or excuse me too often.

…how listening without judgment, criticism or offering solutions to problems, is a guaranteed way to show someone you care.

…that respect goes beyond being kind to their elders – it also includes property, people in general, animals and even themselves.

…to focus on enjoying what they already have instead of wasting time focusing on what they don’t have.

…that NOBODY knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING.

…that it’s okay to be wrong as that’s how we learn.

…to pursue things that are right for them as opposed to blindly following what society says they should do. The road less traveled usually brings the greatest rewards.

…that nobody will care as much about their money as they will, so they should choose their investments wisely.

…that people usually do the best they can with the information and knowledge they have at the time.

…that if something looks too good to be true it likely is.

…that the more they become attached to a thought or idea in the future, the greater their disappointment (suffering) will be when it doesn’t play out as planned.

…that friends may come and go but family will always be by their side. Always.

…that they will get more than they ever could have imagined simply by being kind and generous to those less fortunate.

…that life is short and that they should make the most of each and everyday. They should do things that make them smile, that make them feel alive and energized. Live.

…to remember that life is more about enjoying the journey than simply reaching the destination.

How I see my role as a parent — I’m here to guide them, teach them and make sure they are well equipped with the skills, knowledge and common sense to survive and thrive on their own once they leave home. 

Swiss Chard

I just planted a fall/winter crop of Northern Lights Swiss chard.  Thank you, Cary!  Can't wait to have some to share!  

Variety is always good for the garden and the plate, but the most versatile and easy to grow leafy green in almost all conditions is  Swiss chard.  It is full of nutrients and comes in a variety of colors.  It can be used in place of lettuce, spinach and even celery.  It grows long into the summer and can take frost quite well, even wintering over in some places, like under my cold frame.


Swiss chard is bursting with nutrients like vitamins A, E, K, C, several B vitamins, iron, magnesium, manganese, potassium and dietary fiber.  It is a good course of calcium and contains possible cancer-fighting properties.  It has been used throughout history to treat everything from ulcers to dandruff.  Most important, is its delicious taste!